Perpetua's hectic schedule:
1) No tickets left for Arthur Smith, a smoky-voiced comedian who shrunk the longest of Shakespeare's plays - Hamlet - into his own 42 minute version, which played for 6 nights at the 1995 Edinburgh Festival.
2) So instead an audience with Ethan and Joel Coen - the Coen brothers - respected American filmmakers who write produce and direct together.
3) However this means missing out on the subversive comedy stylings of Richard Herring.
4) There is obviously no point in turning up for Jenny Eclair, who in 1995 won the Perrier Comedy Award for her performance at the festival, the first solo female ever to do so.